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| What if everything happened just like you planned? What if you find yourself not committed? What if this isn't what you want to do? What if the demands are too high?
The college life is great. I feel like I'm on one long summer camp trip. There is no way that I can eat, sleep, do homework, and practice four hours everyday so the sleeping is done few and far between. Everyone says that you'll have the time of your life in college. However, right now I am overwhelmed with the amount of expectation. OVERWHELMED. I am never overwhelmed.
Seriously though. FSU is where I need to be. There's something about the atmosphere. Everyone introduces themselves based on hometowns such as Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville, and Ft. Lauderdale. The campus is absolutely gorgeous - it fits my personality. I love walking the twenty minutes from my dorm to the music complex under the shade of the large, old trees and the Spanish moss. Everything is brick - not wood, steel, cement, or any other cold building material. The scenery just screams my name. Everyone is so nice and polite - maybe it's just the drive for sex that makes college boys suddenly prim and proper. My friends are either Jewish and/or musicians. It's amazing! None of this "OH MY GOD I SUCK PITY ME" or "yeah, I'm only Jewish for Hannukah" business.
I miss Alliance though. I joined for certain reasons and fell in love with it for completely different ones. I miss my percussion boys, the long bus rides, Room 405, the 39" rifles, Smoothie King, the sudden rainstorms, the cheesy guardwork, the lack of clothing, the awful tanlines... It was such a great experience. I can honestly say that this group of people is my family and not have to think twice about it like I would in high school. I know that we'll keep in contact much longer than the people I thought I was friends with in high school. Plus, most of us are going to *try to* march DCI junior corps next summer. We'll be scattered throughout the circuit but remain closer than best friends.
and even with all of my planning, the best things happen when I throw caution to the wind.
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| This is my Summer of 1969.
Although the trip to Baltimore, Maryland with the Alliance Drum and Bugle Corps lasted from 7AM on Tuesday to 12:30PM today, I realized how much I crave the long summer of DCI. So what that we slept in a gym, used community showers, embarassed ourselves (the rookies) during the rookie talent show, slept on the bus, marched five parades on one day while it rained during the fifth parade, practiced until 11PM at night, played/marched the opener more than thirty times, ate out for every meal (whether at a grocery store, a mall, or a fast food place), and heard eighteen thousand too many "that's what she said" jokes (that's my fault for always being around percussion)! I didn't want the bus rides to end. I wanted to keep marching more parades showing our determintation and motivation for excellence. I want to sleep on gym floors next to people who feel the pain and satisfaction of hardwork. I want to have community use of shampoo, soap, and conditioner. I want completely awful tanlines. I want to travel the country on a bus... I need to start mentally, physically, and emotionally preparing for this giant undertaking.
Everything that I could not do with them occured mainly this morning at about 1AM. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Thank you to those who gave me the courage. I truly appreciate it. :)
"It's not my time, it's not my time to wonder why." | | |
| Here's to high school. Four years of riddiculous projects and homework, WebAssign and eMusicTheory, Ms. Battle and hominids, gingerbread houses and sugarless lemonade, Villemezville and Mr. Wannall's socks, several fires and blackouts, incompetent guidance counselors and West Side Story, Fry's Green Tomatoes and James Bond, discovering preferences and leaving others behind, musical opportunities and Marching Band, quartet and All About Phoebe, neighborhood buddies and late night/early morning conversations, Proms and sleepovers, failed auditions and passing notes, secrets and backstabbing, winterguard and bangs, braces and first dates, clubs and driver's licenses, sidewalk chalk and Chick fil A, soccer, football, and basketball games galore, Mango Lime Fiesta and movie nights, latkes and college trips, wheelchairs and Mr. Smith's corny jokes, stick shift vans and twister, Rome Braves and DCI, Facebook and achieving OMEGA, Jew jokes and Sadie Hawkins, swimming and dancing, Calculus and 1469, rain and making the wrong choice, birthdays and moving on, recitals and Ultimate, IKEA and Shakespeare Tavern, ASO and Track 14, Kennesaw Mountain and elemantary playgrounds, walks and AIM, stingrays and Secret Agents!, 24 and Grey's Anatomy, road trips and first kisses...
In other words, here's to feeling infinite during the time of our lives. Good luck in future adventures in case I do not get to tell you personally.
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| I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
You see right through me.
You see right through me.
You see right through me.
One month until graduation. I never thought I'd make it. I made it by cutting ties, I made it by not achieving my ultimate goals (All State, GHP, and ASYO) therefore accepting defeat, I made it with my lack of perfection, I made it by excelling in my schoolwork, I made it by ignoring awful rumors that my "friends" spread about me, I made it by turning my back on the world, I made it by losing trust in all of my friends save for few, I made it by not regretting decisions, I made it by living in the moment, I made it by working my butt off for four years. So you know what? I'm going away to Florida State University. That's far away enough to forget everyone that I want to forget and keep everyone that I want to keep. and the feelings don't have to be mutual.
Congratulations to everyone who received awards on Honors and Awards Day and at Band Banquet. Everyone deserved what they got. Hardwork and determination are your only true assets. You can't even rely on people who thought would always be there. You can only rely on yourself. That's something you'll have to learn the hard way.
Tri-M Recital May 7th at 7:00 in the Sprayberry Theatre
Orchestra Concert May 8th at 7:00 in the Sprayberry Theatre
EYSO Concert May 16th at 7:30 at the Schwartz Center for the Performing Arts at Emory
The Notebook Girls at Band Banquet <33333
Winterguard 04 > you
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| Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice tonight
I'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of the love, the love that I love.
See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now,
Oh love, no
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore, mmm...
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy.
Cause you and I both loved
What you and i spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free
And it's okay if you have to go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you say
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally, out of words.
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-I cannot wait to start dream interpretations in Psychology!
-My car's *EDIT* Transmittion, not transmitter*/EDIT* died so now I am carless for forever, again. But that's ok.
-If anyone asks about my prom situation again I'll kill you. Have a nice day!
-The Orchestra trip to Orlando is in five days!
-Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.
-7:30-9:30 are my favorite hours of my favorite day of the week.
-I do not feel ready for any AP test. I might not take any and face the Coker.
-I need a new bridge and more music.
-I feel an Atlanta Street and Hutchins and Rea field trip in my future.
-Ms. Mays makes me feel bad because she asks me simple questions that have a personal sense of failure for me. It's not her fault, though. But a year ago she figured out my name was not Michael during Music Theory and once when I conducted Concert Orchestra. It's weird having a substitute teacher know so much about you.
-Today is Tyler Hortman's birthday.
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My dad is a camera flash EXPERT! hahahaha
"So this is what I missed for seven years!"
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